What a Boudoir Photo Shoot has done for our Elite Brand Ambassador Kim | Mildura Intimate Portrait Photography

What a Boudoir Photo Shoot has done for our Elite Brand Ambassador Kim | Mildura Intimate Portrait Photography

So much has changed for me since I did my very first Boudoir Shoot with Pure Beauty Photography in July 2018. 

I was so prepared for this shoot, I had all my inspiration and ideas saved in Pinterest, I’d made a playlist (that we forgot to play!),  I had lingerie galore, jewellery and shoes packed. I had a facial, massage and body scrub all done a few days before…..I was so excited!

The shoot was incredible and I loved every image that Lauren took. Everything was amazing! This shoot celebrated my body, me as a person, and for the first time, I truly felt so sexy, and fully embraced those parts of my body I was previously negatively focused on.

I received my amazing products, and I was so in love with them, the quality, the products themselves, the finished product and all for me, and of me! Those amazing feelings from my shoot were so present, and I really felt that I could never come down from feeling this confident and downright beautiful!
​
Lauren had her first Brand Ambassador search, and I was so proud and elated that she chose me to be her Elite Brand Ambassador! Life truly could not get better!

Then my world changed…..​

My twelve year marriage broke down. Whilst we had not been in a great place for some time, it still came as a shock, and I had a lot of adjusting to do to get used to this new life. This was not where I planned to be…

I met up with the incredible Brand Ambassadors and Lauren for a catch up and get together, unfortunately this was on the day my husband was moving out. I put on my big girl pants and met the ladies, and tried really hard to have a good time and not think about what was happening at home, and worrying about how my kids were coping with this big change. I felt broken and hopeless for myself, but felt this ten times more for my kids. I really struggled to be involved.

We planned our Ambassador Group Shoot. While I was so excited for this, and we all know that I love getting called in to prance around in my underwear in front of the camera, I really struggled at the shoot. Yes, I knew poses and could understand and follow Lauren’s direction, but my life was turned upside down and I wasn’t me. The urge to break down in tears the whole time was overwhelming, and it was a struggle to try to keep upbeat. The other girls were a mixture of excited and nervous, and I didn’t want to bring anyone down. Only Lauren and I knew what I was dealing with.
​
Some of those images from this shoot, have become iconic now. Photographs that I could only see sadness in my eyes, everyone else could see strength.​

One of the perks of being an Ambassador is having an Ambassador Shoot, but my head nor heart were anywhere near being in the right place for this. Poor Lauren was dying to get me in the Studio, but I kept delaying it. I just was not myself. That confidence and self assuredness had taken a big hit. I knew I needed to be feeling better about myself before I could do a full shoot.

I was called in by Lauren often, for mini shoots and to test out the ambience of the Studio or new products. Of course I happily obliged, I could see the benefit in doing each and every one. My confidence was slowly returning BUT I still wasn’t ready to commit to a full shoot.

I spoke with the other Ambassadors, and told them what I was going through and that hopefully one day soon, they would actually get to meet the “real” me. Although I kept this very low key, the Pure Beauty VIP Group helped me in so many ways to get through the tough times. It was lovely to know I had the support from so many wonderful women - many whom I had never met - and they always had my back! The incredible and overwhelming support from the Ambassadors and Lauren got me through a lot of anxiety, the unknown and just generally feeling like a failure.

After months and months of gentle persuasion (aka: nagging) from Lauren, I finally set a date for my Ambassador Shoot - a month shy of the anniversary of my first boudoir shoot!

I was so nervous this time around, I was judging myself so much, because I had such a clear vision of what I wanted the images to be, what I wanted to portray and what I wanted to have prepared before my shoot. I certainly wasn’t relaxed this time, but I had no expectations of my body and was not judgemental of any parts of my body.

I was so unorganised too…..well, except for the lingerie! I got a wax at the very last minute, couldn’t get in for a facial and only just managed to get my nails done (cracked out the nail polish for a pedicure myself)

We had a blast! The stars aligned and I got to go up on the roof, I got my industrial/stair photos and I got some nice “not too sexy” photos (because my first shoot was ALL sexy!) My confidence was back to where it once was, I felt incredible, I felt amazing, I felt like everything was meant to be exactly the way it was.

The mini shoots throughout those eight months, culminating in my Ambassador Shoot really helped me in my journey of self discovery and returning back to the Kim of old… Choosing photos for my album was an incredible journey too, because we went back over all the mini shoots (there were a few), and I selected so many of those images.

My journey over that time has been difficult - sad, doubtful and scary - but I have all of these amazing photos that document it, from start to finish. I look through my album and smile, because I know that I made it through with confidence, strength and dignity. I’m so proud of my photographs - the sad and the sexy equally!

Pure Beauty helped restore my faith in myself, and the knowledge that I am strong, I am confident, I am fierce, I am capable of empowering myself and I am in control of my own destiny.

I still have many days where I just want to curl up and cry, and not see anyone, but on these low days, I just look at my beautiful photos, message the Ambassadors and keep moving forward.

Kim xx
​